Nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news but there may come a point when someone reaches out and you just do not feel the chemistry. What do you do? How should you handle it? Is there a way to politely reject an online date? Here are some tips to gently let people down depending on what stage you are in the courtship.

At the first message

At this point you do not know the person so you are not vested. If you are not interested, it is common place to simply ignore the message (not respond). Take note of the words “common place”. That does not mean polite. It is always best to respond especially if the person took time to personalize the note. If someone took the time to reference specifics about your profile, the least you could do is politely decline so they have closure.

If you’ve been chatting

Most people will tend to want to disappear from the conversation when no longer interested. If you have only had a few chats or your chats have been limited, it is fine to stop the conversation. But if you want to end things in a respectful way, be honest. Tell them what is on your mind and why you want to move on. Thank them for the conversation and be clear that you no longer want to continue forward.

After a first date

This may be the hardest one of all. Everyone realizes that moving from online to meeting in person can change the dynamics. Declining someone after you have met in person can be intimidating but do not procrastinate. If you feel the chemistry is not there, do not waste each other’s time. Open the conversation with something positive about them, then let them know you do not feel a connection and end with thanking them for their time.

At the end of the day, treat them how you would want to be treated. It takes a lot of courage for someone to reach out to you. Have the courage to let them know if you are not interested so you can both move on.

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